id be glad to
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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