He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sorry my hands just texted you
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
