K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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