as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
