Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
More tranny stories later!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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