Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
