nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
