I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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