i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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