Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
