I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
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Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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