I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize