I just saw a hot homeless man
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
