I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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