I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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