If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
