My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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