I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
