Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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