no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize