Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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