if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
