so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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