Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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