The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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