zippers are such a cool invention
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
