Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
