you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
