I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
