Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
