Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
