I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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