He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
