Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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