I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
