Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
