i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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