He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
