so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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