I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
ttyl tear gas
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
