he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
