It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
