I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
