it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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