i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
