she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
