Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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