the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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