i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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