Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
