I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
