Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
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This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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