I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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