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Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
