That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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