covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
