My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
